Lifestyle

What it means to love yourself

I used to think loving yourself meant that you were selfish and about oneself. That you were so full of yourself and typically found to be those who were extremely egoistic. I later found that loving yourself was not anything like what I thought. Loving yourself simply means what it states. That if you have the ability to love another with care and affection, that you too can love yourself the same way. With care and affection, you can admire yourself but not to the point of being full of yourself. Showing that you can love the way you look, feel, and think about yourself. I definitely had my own opinions about loving yourself that I really wasn’t giving myself self compassion or any self love at all.

  1. Saying you love yourself, does not necessarily mean that you do

I would say this all the time. People would tell me that I didn’t love myself. And I would think, why would you tell me that I didn’t love myself? Because I listened and believed that I wasn’t loving myself because people said that I didn’t show any self respect. I have always heard that people who didn’t love themselves were those who always “went around”. And I would argue and argue that I did love myself. I loved who I was and I wouldn’t show myself that kind of disrespect. But little did I realize, that either what I thought, or what anyone else was saying was right about self love. Respecting yourself for your own actions and learning to value yourself as a person. Valuing meaning, not allowing ANYONE to determine who you are or what you’re allowed or not allowed to do. Valuing your own opinions, heart, and mind. This means that you should simply speak for yourself. If you find that something you feel is wrong, don’t allow someone else opinion to dictate your own thoughts. Speak up and say it. If someone calls you a name or calls you ugly. Show them. Let them know. “That’s your own opinion. I have confidence in my own. I know I’m beautiful. Inside and out.”

2. Taking charge in your life and your ability to do it.

When I say by taking charge in your life, I mean that learn that you are you. And that you should love every aspect of you. Every lump and cellulite you have. Every gracious curve and every bit of acne. These bits of aspects define you. They give you a significance of uniqueness. Last year, my face was filled with acne. I mean it was horrendous. Well at least what I thought was horrendous. Until I started using a face wash that “clearly” messed up my face. I was in extreme agony from how much pain I was in. Physically and emotionally. My face burned to the touch and my self esteem was shot to the core. I would walk outside and it was so difficult to look at people in the eyes, because I could see what they were looking at. I stopped taking selfies of myself because I looked so hideous. I was like the infectious people on The Hills Have Eyes. It was disgusting. But 90% of the people who saw me, didn’t even know my story. And I simply just saw them as people who were disgusted by me. Until later I realized, that this was just a moment in my life. And that It was going to pass. That I have the ability to go outside and just walk in a store without issues. Without my insecure thoughts of what other people would say. Its having that step to be able to take charge in your life. For it to click in your head and say, “Hey, you’re still you. You’re still beautiful behind all that acne, and it will get better. It doesn’t matter what other people think about it. Or have to say about it. Or even if they feel bad for it. Its that you understand that you still love you even that it’s there. You’re still this great, kind hearted person.” And that’s what it means to take charge in your life. It’s continuing to learn to love you even through all the bull shit. It’s ok. Because people will soon define you by your beauty.

3. Insecurites Vs. Self Compassion

I would sit and pick at all my flaws about myself because I would see how beautiful other women were compared to me. I would sit and compare all the things that were so wrong about me to another in his photo. Yes, I did that. Because I would think, that these women, had so much self confidence and so much beauty to be able to show off their visual aspects of themselves. That they were the ones in the photos and the starlight in front every camera. And well.. I’m the one that was behind the camera. I did not create enough love to fill myself with security. I would look at myself and be completely cruel to my mind and my body. I would tell my boyfriend, how disgusting I am. Like just not taking care of myself, or I was overweight and I was disgusting, because I was never the models in his photos. But after 342343080234 mental break downs later, I realized that… My passion wasn’t to be the models in his photos. It was that, I was going to tell the story of my own models. I was going to be the person who was able to create these women’s love for themselves. And in order for me to do that. I had to start with me first. I had to learn to value my love for myself and be more compassionate towards myself. I was going to have to work on loving my boyfriend even for all his crazy adventures around models and that I was going to be the one to support his love for his own work. All while loving myself. That meant, I was going to define all of my inner insecurites. Realize that I was going to be in love with all of my flaws, my disgustingness, my shitty days, my ugly days. I was going to have to tell myself that I love me. And there is no one better than loving me. I shouldn’t have to compare myself to these models. Because, who knows what their own insecurities are. It’s all about having love for you. Being good to yourself. Not just your body. But to your mind. Be in love with your intelligence and your heart to influence. It’s all going to start with you, and learning to love you.

In today’s generation, bullying is cruel. It is a cruel cruel world out there. I would let people say all kinds of horrible things about me. And I would play a repeat in my head all day long. That even things that they said weren’t true. I still made myself believe them. And that’s how you end up devaluing yourself. Learning to not love yourself because of what other people said about you. Learn to let go of what other’s have to say, and learn what you have to say means more. It’ll pure yourself, your soul and your emotions. Be in love with you.

Why We Need To Take Chances For Success

The past couple of weeks has been bitter-sweet. I was recently offered a position in Atlanta, GA that was an offer that I could not pass up. I have struggled with numerous situations over the past year. Between a child custody case, my income, and my living situation, it was finally time for a change. But I needed to take chances. I have always been the kind of person who has been afraid of the “what if’s”. And it has always taken me down with horrible outcomes. This time, it was different. I have never moved out of state without either one of my parents living there so moving to Atlanta was a huge “big girl” step for me. This was something that I absolutely knew I had to do. I’m not sad nor am I happy about the move because at the same time I feel as if I’m leaving everything behind. But that’s where my “what if’s” happen. I started thinking for a few days that if I keep worrying about the “what if’s”, I’m never going to change. I will never get out of the situations that I’m in. Especially if this move means opportunity for both my son and myself.

The “What If’s”

Yes! Finally, I got over the “What If’s” but that doesn’t mean that I still think about it now and then. It still bothers me to no-end. But! If I continue wondering about “what if… I don’t like my new job?” and I miss out on the great opportunity of more income. Which is something that I really could use. Yes, Atlanta’s pricing is slightly higher than Nashville, BUT I’m still making a lot more money than what I’m getting. I was so used to my work family. I truly adore them. They are all men and women of God and have shown nothing but, compassion and love to me. Really, just being afraid that no one can really compare. Thus, my new work family will be as admirable as they are. It’s taking those chances. So we can’t just keep looking at the “What If’s”. Atlanta has so much opportunity for everyone. I was so afraid when I went to court that they weren’t going to come down to an agreement. I worried endlessly, all to be on the stand and tell them the truth. Even though there was so much more to it, I neglected my mental thoughts because of the “What If’s”.  Really, there isn’t a reason for it. No reason to stress and worry yourself over something you can not control. Especially, if you already antagonized yourself a plan for either option. So you’re giving yourself those “What If’s” an answer. Ease your mind a little and let go of it. Because with the negative mindset, you will stay where you’re at. Success comes with chances.

Walter Chitwood DDS. Lunch Celebration at CJ’s in Murfreesboro, TN

Just Do IT!

I’ve always been this person where I have to contemplate on the situation before I come up with whether or not I’m going to do it. I have never been that person to climb the cliff and go cliff diving. I was always afraid. After realizing that I wanted so much more out of mine and my son’s life that, I needed to just go for it. I’ve always enjoyed writing and I’ve always enjoyed photography. I had always given up a lot and put off all the things I loved doing. Because I was always afraid. Afraid of the outcome and never just allowing me to do it for myself. So finally, I did it. I stepped out of my box. A little step at a time and I’m still building. I researched all the valuable content to write about and I started up my blog. I started out with my dinky Samsung Note 5 camera quality and I just made my first purchase of my new Sony A6000. I contemplated for weeks whether or not if this is what I wanted to do. But you know what!? I did it. And I’m glad that I did. Or else I would be sitting here crying over why I didn’t get a new camera for myself and putting off my dreams of success. Just do it! If it means that much to you for you to succeed in life. Then go for it. It’s all about chances.

What happens when we don’t take chances.

We fall in regret. Sometimes, more than we expect. We become in a constant questioning of “What If’s”. We continue on with our regular 9-5 job and just hoping that everything will plan out the way we thought it was. Constantly wondering how your life would have been if you would have just taken that leap. Next thing you know, 10 years down the line and you’re contemplating the same thoughts you had on whether or not you should just go for it again. This time, actually doing it.

Listening to others will ruin your chances for success

It’s time to just stop questioning, and actually, start doing. Stop asking yourself if this is something that you should do when you know you already NEED to be doing it. If we don’t take these leaps in life we will never be where we want to be. Stop being like everyone else and be you. Do what you think is best for you. If we continue to let others dictate our life we will never be our own person and never land that point of success in our lives. Live your life the way you plan to and don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do it. Because you can. It’s those who tell us that we can’t, be the reason that we CAN. I’ve seen so many people be where they don’t want to be in life because they’re caught up in what other’s tell them. That their ideas are stupid and that they themselves are lame for even thinking that they can. Don’t let other people tell you that you can’t do something. Just do it. And it’s probably one of the best decisions I’ve made to listen to myself in the 26 years of my life. Because I’ve now been given an opportunity to actually LIVE. Live the way I am supposed to.

This has to be one of the greatest decisions I’ve made for me and my son. The thing about it, is my motive is only to be successful in the end. I wouldn’t have it any other way. That should be the only way that it should ever be. I’m excited for what Atlanta has to offer for us. If you’ve come across some tough decisions in your life drop a few lines below, we’d love to hear about your success story.

 

Why I started blogging

There are times when I have thought back to why I started blogging. There were a series of answers that really convoluted my mind. Because when I began writing, I didn’t just start writing because I had to. I wrote because it was my creative outlet. During my chaotic life the past year, I found a reason to why I got behind the keyboard to start typing.

I finally figured that one day, I was going to travel the world with my son. Take on new adventures every day and enjoy the blissful moments. I was motivated in every aspect of my life that would allow me to keep writing. I was in awe by every inch of life that I touched. Traveling was one the biggest reasons why I decided to start blogging.

 

Aston at Children’s Museum of Savannah, GA

Peace & Happiness to Travel

Traveling and writing would allow me to enjoy everything I loved to do and still make it my income source. Whether if it was to be at home and writing a short article, or be on an airplane to God knows where. Regardless, I had complete freedom. I would be able to stay with my son and watch him grow with every chance I received. I’d be able to enjoy all the prospects of traveling around the world. Seeing different odds of the world and enjoying the time shared with my son. I wanted to be able to film and photograph the luxary of our beautiful world. Be able to show others the life outside of our materialistic ways. Just to be able to grab my backpack and slip a few items in there and walk around let me live a little. Later, to be able to reiterate my visions and thoughts to those who aren’t able to see what I saw. It put another perspective on me to write even more.

My Sons’ prosperous life and future

My son has always been the reason why I have strived so hard in my life. In the past year, we have been through pretty much hell. It’s something I probably wouldn’t want to go through again. But blogging helped me throughout this past year with my crazy and stressful life. I was able to see my son grow this past year and get into photography and writing these new memories we cherished together. These memories shortly became art. An art that recited our new life.

Aston at South City Kitchen Midtown Atlanta, GA

When I started writing, I was fresh out of an overly mentally abusive relationship. My mind was clustered in thoughts and the best way for me to let go of somethings was to write. And I never once thought that I was going to be doing it as an income source until it was brought to my attention that I could make it a source of income. Not just a part time thing, but full-time financial freedom. I started reading multiple other blog posts and how to start your own blog. And I fell in love with writing 20 times more. Believe it or not, you are capable of making money doing the things you love to do.

Educational Expectations

I would never have thought that blogging was going to allow so many great things in our life. Until it opened up new doors for me in every aspect. I would be able to pick and choose my times of when I decided to work and when I decided I wanted to go to school. I was able to focus primarily on school, my son, and family, because writing did all the income for me. As soon as I started writing I put in my application to Georgia State University as a Biology major. I would soon be focusing on becoming a surgeon. And that was the best part about it. Was because For once in my life, I wasn’t worried about my next paycheck while going to school. It made things so much easier for me to just focus on my goals and dreams.

 I feel as if everyones reason’s are different. Different as to why they started writing. It takes dedication and strength to do what you love everyday. And everyday is an even stronger effort. What made you decide to get behind the keyboard and blog?