At some point during our life as women, we can’t wait to become a mom. It’s the greatest thing that can possibly happen to a woman. Being able to feel the magic of your child in your belly for 9 months. It has its up’s and down’s of course. But who would’ve thought, that carrying this glorious little alien was going to make you change so drastically in your life. Today, you look inside a woman’s magazine. You see these beautiful and petite women. Showing these cute baby bumps and how they look great post-partum. You kind of give yourself these pretty high expectations after becoming a parent. Especially in those Parent magazines. You’re supposed to raise your kid “this way”. And “that way” harms the children psychologically. I mean… really, we’ve set the bar pretty high for ourselves. After 3 years into this mom business, I finally conducted myself of this. Things I wish I knew before becoming a mom.
I promise you, this is number one. Mom-to-be’s, new moms, experienced moms. We have all been there. We set ourselves at this standard that we need to and have to be this great mom. I wish I was told this from the get-go. That no matter what I was going to do or have done. I was always still going to be a great mom. We tell ourselves and have told ourselves before our little monsters. We have to be this super mom, to raise these great and amazing children. But to be frank, we are the greatest human beings to our off springs. Don’t make yourself be this monster zombie mom because you have to be that “awesome soccer mom”. Kids will love you no matter what. You’re their mom.
2. Post-partum depression is real.
Yes. And it is very real. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t going to be that 1 in every 100 or so women that had post-partum depression. But it happened. I wasn’t even aware of it until well. I had seperation anxiety from my son. But, there are ways to over come it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. And don’t be afraid to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. I wasn’t well educated on post-partum depression before I even got pregnant. Nor did I even know it really existed. But, it’s better to know the signs when you know you aren’t feeling right. Ask for help. It will do you a world of justice.
I know, this is a give-me one. Honestly, always prepare yourself. And not just for baby, but for everything. For whatever life throws at you. Because the moment you find out that you’re carrying your little monster for 9 months. Is the moment the world no longer matters, but that little monster. Prepare yourself, financially, systemically, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Especially as women. Don’t set yourself up and leave yourself for granted.
4. Post-partum baby weight.
I keep telling myself I’m going to make time for me. A lot. Because I truly do need it. But when I actually have time for me and my weight, I’m so exhausted. There are moms who have gone through extreme measures to stay healthy and fit during pregnancy. That’s because they were before they became pregnant. Every mom gains a few extra pounds post pregnancy. It’s common. Don’t fret over the little weight. Because at the end of the day, you look at yourself and you look at the little monster you have. And realize, you were and probably still are nurturing that little alien. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to get through. And still trying to get through. But I just take one look at my son and remember that it’s something that I had to do for him.
I didn’t wear leggings or yoga pants after my pregnancy because I had this horrible looking muffin top already. But I definitely wore sweats and pjs a lot. And going to school after having my munchkin, I was wearing scrubs every day. I still am. Which kind of sucks. But believe it or not, I was in comfy clothes up until my son turned almost 2. I lost a little bit of weight and started wearing yoga pants and leggings again. I simply thought I was just going to get right back into my jeans. Nope! Not the case at all. You’re constantly running around, and all you want to do is be comfy doing it. I mean, why not right?
6. Parenting is not what everyone makes of it.
In today’s society, discipline means the parent gets in trouble for abuse. As in discipline , I mean some kids deserve a good spanking sometimes. When we were growing up, we had the clothes hanger, or when I was helping my sister with my nephew. It was the evil glare that really got him to put down whatever he thought he was going to get into. You’re going to parent your child. And you’re going to parent your child in the best way deemed necessary. If you are the kind of parent that wants to let your child run freely and knock down all the other kids blocks and be a bully. Then you be that parent. Because at the end of the day, the way how your child grows up is how they’re going to treat the rest of society. But don’t let what other parenting techniques fool you because they tell you “if it were their child”. You parent how you’re going to parent. But also ensure the safety and conscious decisions for these children.
A week after I found out I was pregnant, was the last time I had good decent sleep. And by decent sleep, I’m talking about a full 9-10 hours of sleep well beauty rested, and not a stress freckle in sight. When my son was born, I didn’t know what sleep meant any more. My sons’ father, did not get up for the life of him. When my son woke up, I was up. When my son slept, I was awake to clean the house, do laundry, do the dishes, meal prep, or cook dinner, pick up toys. And by the time I was able to actually take a nap. My son was up. But there lives a day that there will be sleep! After a few years that is.
8. Your bladder is uncontrollable.
I don’t think I can elaborate this anymore. If I would have known that I was going to tinkle myself a little every time I sneezed or coughed. I think I would’ve taken a little more precautions after my pregnancy. It’s a little ridiculous. I didn’t even think it was possible that I could do such a thing. And don’t even bother trying to hold yourself back from using the potty. I think I had more “almost near” accidents, than I’ve ever had in my life, after I had my son. You just can’t help it. Maybe kegil exercises!!
I think this was something that was always hard for me to accept. Regardless if your child always asks for someone or is with someone regularly. Your child will always know that you’re the one that cares and loves them more than anything. You are their number one person they will run to even if they don’t really run to you. You are the one that they know will always be there for them. To wipe away their tears. To cuddle them to sleep. To read them books and stay up late to watch Disney movies all night with. You will always be their number one. And will always know you are mommy.
10. Motherhood prints its own picture for everyone.
It’s different for every mom. I always pictured that I was going to take my son to do these awesome things and he was going to be so well behaved and etc… but let’s be real here. Children are their own people. They have their own minds and make life a very brightly painted picture. Not everyday is going to be picture perfect. One day you’ll have poop on your hand and a screaming toddler. The next you’all have the most perfect little angel that belongs at the top of a Christmas tree. Not only that though, I always believed that I was always going to have it together. I was going to be that mom that made sure she was there for every event and every time period in her sons life. Motherhood isn’t the way how it always looks in the magazines. It’s different for every mom. So just trust yourself and let things how they’re meant to be.
Motherhood is full of different experinces. Whether good or bad, I don’t think I would have it either way. Even if I knew about it or not. Having to learn these things on my own, let me see motherhood in true form. Learning to love and adapt to your new life. I wouldn’t change anything about my experience through motherhood.
If you’ve had a few times you have thought to yourself, you wish you knew about before having children. And if you’d like to add to our list. Leave us a comment down below! We would like to hear from you and your travel through motherhood!